Pranks
by WhenEverythingFalls
Summary: With so many people coming to King Arthur with their complaints, Merlin finds an unusual source of amusement during these boring moments... Mordred's sense of humor. (No warnings.)


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MERLIN, OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER MENTIONED IN THIS STORY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO BBC.**

 **A/N: Co-written with a fellow FFN author.**

 **Please leave a review or rating!**

Merlin stood to the side of the throne room, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the man speak. The man, a farmer, had lost his cabbage crop to rabbits, and was currently inquiring as to whether or not he would be reimbursed, as half of his crop was going to be given to the royal kitchens in order to help him pay off his debt for his land. His logic was a bit... skewed, but he seemed to just be a simple man trying not make his way in the world, and that was not a small thing. The warlock cleared his throat and pursed his lips, looking down at the floor as if it would provide something new to look at.

Arthur, for his part, was doing a marvelous job of appearing as though he was invested in the man's words. "I understand what you're saying-truly, I do. However, with Morgana and Cenred's men attacking our borders, I cannot divert funds away from certain... necessary things."

The knights-all standing on the sides of the room, all struggled to hide yawns. Mordred met Merlin's gaze. His bright eyes held a hint of desperation, as though he wondered how much longer this could possibly go on, and he thought perhaps Merlin knew the answer.

"Yes, my lord, it's just that my family will have nothing to eat and we have no money. We will starve, Sire." The farmer, Ulysses, bowed deeply as though he thought the action might help his case along. He risked a glance up at the king.

Merlin didn't bother hiding a yawn under his hand, he didn't even uncross his arms. He made a soft sound deep in his throat and closed his mouth, blinking to clear his vision, the boredom making his eyes blur. On a usual day, he wouldn't have much trouble staying awake and staying focused even during a meeting such as this one, he could manage to invest himself in the people's pleas, but the night prior had been a long one and the morning had been even longer. As he caught Mordred's stare, he tried to ignore the deep emptiness that it brought, one full of only regrets and decisions he would rather not think of. He shifted on his feet and swallowed, dropping his arms by his sides and fidgeting with the cloth of his red sleeves.

Arthur's words interrupted. "I will ensure that your family is taken care of. But..." he continued.

Mordred's boredom was tangible. His eyes glowed gold, and the cabbage farmer's hat slid down, getting stuck around his eyes. The man grunted, and yanked at his hat, pulling it off his head and looking mortified that it had betrayed him in front of the king. Mordred hid a smile.

Arthur didn't notice; clearly pondering how he would keep his promise to the farmer.

After everything, Merlin wanted to be mad, even just on principle alone, that Mordred would do that. However, at the moment, he couldn't help but think that it made the stretching hours a little more bearable. For the time being, he didn't join in the behavior.

Ulysses sniffed before he spoke,

"Thank you, my king. But what am I to do? I can't just spend my waking days sitting in my house, eating the food you provide."

"True." Arthur's expression brightened. "I'll find you a task suitable for you. You will be earning your keep, rather than taking charity."

Mordred had long-since stopped paying attention to the scene. He sent the slightest hint of magic toward Gwaine's cape. The red cloth rustled, pulling back on the man and making him take a step backward, bumping into Leon. Gwaine turned, frowning down as though he believed the other man had stepped on his cape. He shrugged and turned his attention back to Arthur.

Ulysses grinned. "I cannot thank you enough."

Merlin snorted out loud, only to realize a second later that to most it would sound as though he was laughing at the poor farmer's situation. He sobered.

Arthur shot Merlin a glare, eyes widening in a silent threat. The young king turned back to the farmer. "What skills do you posses, aside from farming?"

Mordred smiled, hiding the expression behind a closed fist.

Ulysses ducked his head in thought. "I can..." He rubbed his sticker-y chin. "I can care for animals, and cook."

Mordred directed his magic to Leon this time. He pulled the man's elbow 'til it jabbed into Percival's side. The bigger knight grunted and looked down in confusion. Leon-for his part-looked even more baffled.

Merlin - despite the though of Gaius giving him a verbal lashing later - nodded his head towards Elyan, his cerulean eyes flashing gold. The man belched and in response looked mortified. Merlin's lips twitched up in a half-smile before he realized he had reduced himself to a level of goblin humor.

Mordred coughed to cover for a snort.

Arthur turned his glare to Elyan with an expression of confused disappointment, as if to express he'd expected better from the man

Ulysses, for his part, seemed to take it all at face value as if this was the usual behavior of the staff in Camelot. He clasped his hands and looked hopefully to the monarch. "What position would you be willing to spare, my lord?"

"The kitchens can always use another cook. I will also see if any help is required in the stables."

The carpet tugged itself out from under the farmer's feet... just shifted a little by Mordred. The man pitched forward, but recovered it with a deep bow, saving face. He did-however-cast a confused look at the rumpled carpet beneath his feet.

Merlin leaned closer to Arthur's throne and in a low voice he said, "Help is definitely required in the stables, Sire."

Arthur actually began to repeat this, but stopped himself with an indignant snort. "I'll look for a place in the kitchens for you."

Mordred's smile was barely contained. He turned his face away from the throne, and Merlin, desperate. He dare not laugh in court.

"However if he should find himself with too little work to do, many servants would gladly accept his assistance in the stables. Sire." Merliln was insistent in this matter, his eyes staring at the king's face as he put on a faux polite smile.

"Merlin..." It was a warning.

The warlock stepped behind the throne, his hands clasping behind his back.

"Now, I'll have my manservant..." Arthur waved a hand at Merlin, "...Escort you to the kitchens." He turned his gaze to the knights, scrutinizing them for some time before speaking. "Mordred, accompany them."

The young knight quickly bowed, nodding stiffly. "Yes, Sire."

Without delay Merlin stepped forward and then motion with his hand for Ulysses to follow him towards the kitchens. Mordred followed, trailing after the farmer, who followed closely behind Merlin, profusely thanking Arthur during their trip across the throne room.

"Ulysses?" Merlin paused just long enough to see the farmer nod. "You will be working with Gilda, if you need any instruction or supplies she will tell you where and how to get them, to do them, to find them, and so on. If you need a place to stay, if you have to work late, come and find me and I will show you to a place you can bed for the night."

"All right," Ulysses nodded with a grin. Merlin attempted a smile in return.

Mordred followed along behind them, still smirking... if only a little.

"It seemed-was it just me? I mean, did the king find me... slow?" Ulysses asked, rubbing his hat-the one that had been pulled over his eyes-between his fingers.

"Mm, no." Merlin cocked his head sideways in thought. "More... Living a single-driven life. He was glad you wanted to work for your earnings, I could see that - I should be able to see that much after all this time..."

The man smiled gratefully. "Thank you!"

Merlin nodded. "Do you have children?"

"Two girls. Twins."

"All right. Well, here we are. Work-sweet-work." Merlin's eyes glinted and he waved into the next corridor. "Gilda will find you, just stand around and look like you're stealing food."

Mordred actually laughed at this. He had-on more than one occasion-seen the women snipe at Merlin for loitering.

"Oh..." Ulysses had a moment of doubt, but bravely strode onward, pushing the door open and entering the kitchen with shoulders squared and head held high.

"Brave soul," Merlin mumbled through clenched teeth, hissing in a breath and tilting his head. Gilda was far from kind, but she would warm up to the farmer, Merlin thought that he seemed to be a good man.

Mordred and Merlin stood outside the kitchen in silence for a long moment. "I didn't know it was possible to talk about cabbage for so long," Mordred spoke uncertainly, not certain what to expect from Merlin.

The manservant huffed. "You seemed to find ways to stay entertained." At first he thought the comment would sound bitter, but was surprised to find it was quite the opposite.

Mordred looked ashamed, inspecting his boots as if they'd suddenly become interesting. "I know; if Arthur had seen... I could've endangered you, and myself." He seemed not to realize Merlin was not upset.

"Yes." Merlin bit the inside of his cheek, torn between two realities inside his head. One said that Mordred was evil, he was destined to kill Arthur - to kill Merlin's best friend - and another said that he was still a boy, and wanted only to prove himself. Those two truths seemed to be tearing at the seams in Emrys' mind, and had been doing so ever since he had learned of the prophecy. Still, there was no harm in kindness. He made his decision for which path to take as far as words, at least for the day, and spoke,

"When I came to Camelot, the first thing I did was pick a fight. Ironically, it was Arthur, and he was a complete prat then..." Merlin shook his head and blinked up at the roof, pushing on through his distraction, "I used magic to win, even despite being warned against it by a man wiser than myself."

Mordred's eyes widened as he focused on Merlin's words. He nodded slowly. "I don't intend to pick any fights with the king-with Arthur."

Merlin's expression darkened. "I need to be going, Arthur's laundry awaits."

Mordred nodded, confusion flooding his eyes. He didn't attempt to stop Merlin.

The warlock paused for a moment, gritting his teeth as he worked through a thought. He turned partially around, looking more towards the floor than at Mordred. He opened his mouth as if he would speak, then kept walking.

Mordred watched him go for several moments before turning and heading in the opposite direction. He'd thought maybe... The young man shrugged off the idea. If there was a way to befriend Merlin, he didn't know it. Yes, Mordred recalled the time-years before-when he'd told Merlin he wouldn't forget what he'd done... that he'd hold it against him. But he'd changed. How could he make Merlin see that?

 **Thank you for taking a moment to read. Have a lovely day!**


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